thankfuls

 

late, but still accurate.

1. my health. that i can ride my bike to and from work with an able-body and breath in fresh air and occasionally even let go of my handlebars and cruise for half a block. so happy and grateful to be healthy. 
2. my family. that i have a group of people supporting me unconditionally. that if something were to happen tomorrow, i have a place to go and people to surround myself with. they help me make decisions and talk me down when i'm going crazy. they're also insanely fun & funny and they know how to eat right.
3. mikeyaz. so glad i'm dating someone who loves and accepts me completely for who i am, who makes me laugh consistently, and is always down to split brunch entrees 50/50.
4. my friends. my true blues in the 717, great place ladies, 1300 crew, smash babies, asteroidians, and everyone in between.
5. having a steady job and a steady paycheck to go along with it.
6. food. goat cheese and donuts and golden delicious apples and curry in particular.
7. drinks. horchata and pear woodchuck and whiskey sours in particular.
8. theme parties.
9. muppets.
10. yarn.
11. philadelphia.
12. the turnpike.
13. the glorious, ever-wonderful 717.
14. a close relationship with my brother.
15. books.
16. cruise control.
17. christmas and everything leading up to it.
18. felt tip pens that don't bleed through the paper.
19. the opportunity to perform regularly.
20. nubby sweaters.
21. baby cousins and babies in general.
22. globe bar.
23. ukuleles.
24. brunch

for those who can't make up their mind

 

behold! a clear i-phone case that cost five dollars on amazon, arrived in some crazy hong kong packaging, and now allows me to swap out the picture in the back whenever i want! right now it's a landscape from an old national geographic but not for long good friends. i can change that sucker whenever i want. i can use fabric or magazine cutouts or a photo or scrapbooking paper or a candy bar wrapper or hair or glitter or WHATEVER I WANT. sky is the limit here folks. i can't get over how expense i-phone cases are so this is a perfect way for me to have infinite different designs while really only having one case. boo ya world.

moms weekend

 

mom's weekend is the best kind of weekend. it's when my moms, both biological (shout out to helley!) and not-so-biological-but-still-awesome-ladies, come to philadelphia and play with me. we had quite an itinerary but we managed to squeeze it all in. frankford hall for german beer and jenga and burgers, magpie for a slice of butterscotch bourbon, south street for a festival, federal donut to sample all the flavors, hot diggity for exotic dogs, my b-movie improv show, farmers cabinet for a speakeasy cocktail and swing band, hitting up the bar with my roommates, splitting late night cheesesteaks, and in the morning, grabbing sunday brunch at hawthornes. combine all this + excessive food and drink + way to much walking and you have a recipe for a good night's sleep.

i loved showing these ladies around town though. it always helps to see philly through the eyes of a stranger. things i normally take for granted or think are meh suddenly become wonderful and original and fun and the feeling lingers even after my loved ones have left the city. thanks for a terrific weekend ladies.

for all you downton fans . . .

here it is! eighty bajilliion years after halloween, but at least i got a picture up here for all the internet to see! if you watch downton abbey you are probably way more on board with this costume/might have a general inkling of who i am. (i'm sybil! when she's a total badass and wears pants to dinner! a remarkable moment in the series!). if you don't watch the glorious pbs masterpiece though, i'm just a genie. i gave up trying to explain my costume and was content to just agree that i could grant wishes with my giant harem pants. all you uncultured slobs. tsk tsk.

i made the costume, which was super fun and surprisingly not that difficult. breasts always make shirt-tailoring a little more difficult (damn you lumpy fats mounds rising up from my chest and forever shaping the landscape of my upper half! why can't you cooperate?!) but the pants were easy peasy and SO COMFORTABLE. i wish that we wore pants like that all the time. i would seriously be in such a better mood. and, as a result, more altruistic. and therefore a better citizen. can we just all write to the president and have him endorse harem pants?

the magic of this outfit is also the fact that i can rewear it when the new season of downton comes to america. yeah, yeah i know i could illegally download it now. but 1) i am a patriot, 2) i have patience and realize it's worth waiting to support a wonderful television show by watching it in real time on tv, and most importantly, 3) i don't know how to illegally download things. i'm no crazy hacker techie.

what were you for halloween? do you even remember? it was pretty long ago. i don't blame you if it's totally slipped your mind.

pink or blue?

 

 i can't believe i haven't told you this story yet. actually, yes i can. because this happened when i was about four or five and i would have had no reason to tell you. except! i saw this post and was reminded!

back in the day, my grandma made me all sorts of costumes. i was heavy into dress up and imagination games and she was a total enabler. i had an overflowing collection of gorgeous handmade princess dresses and capes - total costume nerd heaven. but perhaps one of the most clever pieces was a sleeping beauty skirt. it was a simple skirt that Velcro-d in the back and was meant to be worn with a leotard. but, much like the disney movie, this skirt had color options. one side was blue, another was pink. and i could change it at my leisure. it was incredible.

i may have to take a hiatus from this blog to recreate the magic of this skirt. it was seriously amazing. also: please enjoy this picture that has nothing to do with anything! you're welcome!

for the love of pumpkin

my mom recently came to visit and stocked me up with pumpkin flavored seasonal goodness. made the cookies with great success; turned the marshmallows into pumpkin peanut butter rice crispies; ate the pudding for dinner one night; made pancakes for a bunch of fools after a halloween party; and unfortunately, trashed the pumpkin bar recipe. i accidentally popped the bottom out of the tart pan i was using while putting it in the oven. it was a serious mess so i ate the remaining uncooked batter and crust to console myself. what delicious fall things have you created recently? is your mom amazing like mine?

the recharge

There is something about home that recharges my batteries. Give me three days in the place I grew up and I am a new person. Like sending your American Girl doll to the doll hospital with her hair in clumps and arms on backwards and finding her on your doorstep two weeks later looking factory fresh. In this analogy, my mental status and outlook are the American Girl doll.

            In Philadelphia, I am an anxious and tired person. Whenever I am out, I’m thinking about being home and in bed and whenever I’m home and in bed, I’m thinking about all the time I’m wasting being a person who enjoys being at home in bed like some Wonka grandparent. I am morally neutral in the city, more prone to yelling and swearing and assuming people are trying to kill me or steal all my things or some sinister combination of the two. Though if you’re going to go through the trouble of killing me, you might as well steal my stuff too. I don’t need it anymore. Maybe just leave my driver’s license so people know who I was.

            That is a sentence written by Philadelphia Caitlin.

            But Harrisburg Caitlin? Oh man. Harrisburg Caitlin shoots to the other end of the spectrum. First of all, she is a social rock star. She wants to see everyone and engage in long conversations with them. She is up for flaming shots down town, social outings with parents and their friends, and one on one coffee dates with old classmates. On top of that, she is boundlessly witty and optimistic. She can quip with the best of them, listens more attentively, gives loving, compassionate feedback and is more generous with her hugs. Her anecdotes are taken to the next level and are always met with extreme interest and hearty laughter. Harrisburg Caitlin, believes in the general goodness of the world and her individual power to influence it for the better.

            I’m not completely sure how this recharge situation works though, because as it stands now, as you are currently reading this, you are probably thinking to yourself, the fuck would she ever go back to Philadelphia. And I will tell you the fuck I go back – because I’m afraid of taking advantage of the magic. If pumpkin spice lattes were all year round, would we love them as much? I’m afraid of making the magic into the norm and allowing it to lose it’s luster. So I haul my butt back to Philly but this time, as a changed butt. An optimistic butt. A butt who doesn’t believe that I am wasting my life and terrible at everything. No sir! I am a new butt, confident that I can do anything I want. I make plans on the train ride back and never once do I think I am not 100% capable of carrying them out.

            In Philly, I am a follower.  I direction-taker, never a direction giver. In high school, I organized things all the time. I loved planning projects and taking the lead. Now, Philly Caitlin waits for others to initiate then meekly follows behind, helping in minimal ways, where needed. And so it is necessary for me to return to the mother land with some frequency (but not too much!). I need to remember where I came from and be surrounded by the people who believe in me in the environment that created me. And I need to see how good it all is and believe once again that I came from all that good.