skills

 

i have 'em. see the above scoreboard for reference. do a double-take if necessary. cartoonish take off your spectacles, breathe onto the lenses, wipe off the condensation with your sleeve and check again.

cause homegirl got a 191.

and what's that i see in the fifth, sixth, and seventh frame? i had no idea it was thanksgiving already. but it must be because SOMEONE'S BRINGING HOME A TURKEY. 

there is nothing better than going bowling on a weekday afternoon with your best friend in weird matching socks and getting an amazing score. this was sweetened by the fact that the only other people in the entire bowling alley were middle-school kids in an afterschool program and professional league bowlers waiting for their practices to start. these are exactly the people i'm looking to impress.

speaking of impressive, the only thing sweeter than my insane bowling skills are my victory dance moves. i have a hybrid will smith in his fresh prince days vs. elaine benes vs. chubby ten year old boy without any awareness of socially acceptable movements vibe going on. it's worth seeing in real life.