i love my parents. i leave for school tomorrow and i feel like i'm in a really weird place. i can actually feel the transition happening- from the 717 being my 'main' life to temple being home. it was obviously going to happen but for some reason i just thought it would be smooth and i wouldn't really notice it. but it's clunky and i can feel it happening. the same with friends. i can actually see them drifting and getting fainter. it's weird. i don't like being aware of it. it makes me feel alienated. i don't like being in the in-between either. where half of me wants to go out and travel and get internships everywhere and try a bunch of new things but the other half doesn't want to let go of my family and my family life that soon. the part that wants to stay in the 717 forever having sunday dinners and going to target with my mom. again, it's not a smooth transition. it's a tug of war deal. and i can feel it physically manifesting itself in my stomach.on a happier note:
i move in tomorrow! the van is packed to maximum capacity (and yet my room looks fuller than ever. weird.) i can't wait to see everyone and get back into the swing of things. i still need to find a job ( i never heard back from either place) so keep your fingers crossed. i'm excited to set my apartment up (NEW BOOKSHELF! PICTURES!) and catch up with people. gaahhhhhh. only a few more hours!
im praying for you. and everyone else.
ReplyDeleteis it weird to think that it felt like that dinner was potentially one of the last ones we'll all have together for awhile? i know what you mean about the transition... and i know exactly what you mean about the in-between. i feel like ive been in limbo ever since i got on the train to come home last semester...
but, such is life. and if it were to stay the same our whole time here... we'd miss out on a lot of things.
-earl
deocniz
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ReplyDeleteI FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY! i just want things to be easy. i hate when i don't know how i feel about a situation; the awkwardness of being torn makes it worse. but we're all in this together! i can't wait to see you!
ReplyDeletemaybe you are an orange peel or maybe your a mind reader. i've been feeling verryyy similar. it's definitely bitter sweet... a bitter sweet symphony if you will. plus my bitch ass friends who went to school really close to amesbubble have banded together and i sort of feel left out. i'm not jealous just sort of put out. i am so grateful for my Temple family
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