rice blind

sometimes, i'm extremely rude. i know you find this hard to believe, dear readers, because if you are reading this you are probably related to me and think i'm just swell & dandy & sweeter than a molasses covered marshmallow. this is not true.

sometimes i think i am the jason alexander of my friend group. and not the fun neurotic seinfeld jason; pretty woman jason. i'm not slapping julia roberts but i'm still the wet blanket of the group. squashing fun. acting as a nagging reminder of obligations and expectations.

yesterday, my dear roommate spilled rice on our counter. not just a few grains; a handful. just scattered across the counter like a bunch of armless, albino sunbathers on a private beach. i should have just sighed to myself and scooped them up and into the trash. but i didn't. i had to be a jason.

"hey ben? did you maybe spill some rice over here?"
"umm...i don't think so?"
"could you come look?"
"sure. oh yeah - i guess i did spill some. i didn't even see that."
"you didn't see that?! ARE YOU RICE BLIND?"

1) totally unnecessary
2) completely passive agressive
3) wtf is rice blind? i am losing my mind.

my inner ranting madman says SERIOUSLY. SERIOUSLY?! HOW DO YOU NOT SEE ALL THIS RICE ON THE COUNTER? AND WHAT'S THE EXPECTATION HERE? THAT A RICE FAIRY WILL FLY IN CAST A SPELL ON THE GRAINS, TURNING THEM INTO MORE RICE FAIRIES? YOU KNOW WE HAVE MICE, RIGHT? WHO DO YOU THINK IS CLEANING UP THIS RIIICCCCEEEEEEEE.

but i know i should shut that madman down. that it isn't a priority for some people. that it was an honest mistake that could have been handled much better. but there i go again. metaphorically slapping julia.