new occupation: barber

james recently texted me and asked me to cut his hair with the promise of dinner. i immediately accepted, failing to tell james about my lack of previous experience, and focusing only on the free hot meal coming my way. i've only shaved two other guys heads before and it was at a party. the results were mixed. i also have experience shaving my dad's neck. but that's not quite as massive as a person's whole head.

but i went over and i ate some stir fry and washed it down with two and half glasses of red wine, then said "nurse, hand me the shears!". james whipped off his shirt unexpectedly (to minimize hair trap-age) which caused me to giggle uncontrollably, but once i had calmed down i was in the zone. it was a long process during which i was mostly terrified. but the final product was pretty damn good if i do say so myself.

so if you need your hair cut in the city of bro'ly love, gimme a call. i like my meat and my wine red.

i'm a bruncher and a luncher

i'm also a bad namer of posts. i shall google a tutorial on the proper-naming conventions for blog posts and get back to you. i'm sure i'll find a lot of advice about alliteration and puns.

went home a few weekends and indulged in some neato burrito, as per usuallll. standard black bean, bbq rice, angus beef, cukes, onions, tomatoes, lettuce, and feta jalapeno salsa on an herb and garlic tortilla. standard stuff. what real 717ers are made of.

the next day i brunched with muh lady frannn, liztil. i got something called 'the ritz' which is basically eggs benedict with a steak on top and an incredible red wine sauce. food coma before lunch. liz got some baller nutty-bread french toast deal. both were washed down with passion fruit/pomegranate mimosas.

went to distrito last week in west philly with some friends. imma throw this out there, and ya'll can hate if you want, but i'm not a fan of tapas. i don't like that they're an excuse to give me less food. if i want to share, i'll share. but don't force me to share by calling it 'tapas'. not cool, food world. i got a weird drink that involved grapefruit juice and hot pepper tequila. then i followed it up with cow tongue tacos. it was a regular fear factor meal.

memorable memories of a memorial day

i was totally going to post this in a time-appropriate fashion, but i figure since it was memorial day i would let the day really marinate in my mind until it became a solid memory. for memoryorial day. that's totally what i did. i'm so thoughtful.

this is what i did, in list-ish form, chopped up with exciting punctuation: friends come to my house! weather is terrific! wear that long impractical neon flower child dress! making pulled pork with papa's recipe! butcher man at the fro' gro' laughs at me when i ask for 'pork butt' and makes me repeat it a stupid amount of times! making wayyy too much food! sitting in the backyard living room! jimmy drawing on watermelons! singing songs and drinking brews and booze! kicking off the summer! eventually kicking folks out because we're a sleepy crew with early bedtimes to adhere to.

and that is the tale of memorial day 2011. tell your grandchildren. leave out the bit about the booze and add something more patriotic.

weekend update

total blog coma. i know. wah wah. i don't want to talk about it. (for the record, that 'wah wah' is not you crying, it's me crying. because that's all i do on this blog. cry about my lack of blogging. i should really refocus.)

this is what happened this weekend! in pictures!

boyfriend mikeyaz has an internship that requires him to work long hours without a set schedule (the boy literally finds out when he's working the night before and still doesn't know how long it'll last) for the entire month of june (read: every single day including weekends) BUT he miraculously got a day off so i went up to new york to see him. he was still working on friday so i chilled with fellow casa alums, alex and tori. got delicious artichoke pizza and chatted it up/watched baby videos on youtube. navigated the new york subway system by myself (i did it in london with great ease but for some reason, the new york one seemed infinitely more daunting. but homegirl did pretty well for herself.)

on saturday, mikeyaz and i ate DELICIOUS mac and cheese at brooklyn mac. i got brie and carmelized apple mac with bacon and yaz got smoked gouda and bacon mac with an egg on top. food coma. then we went to coney island for the mermaid parade. SO SO CROWDED. insane crowds. unable to breathe or move crowds. it felt like that scene in the dark knight where the joker tells everyone to leave the city and it's total chaos. i imagine the mermaid parade would be a comparable experience just with more glitter. we saw some cool costumes but in the end, scooted around the crowd and got soft serve on the boardwalk then went home. ordered a sushi feast complete with pork dumplings and brooklyn brewery beers to celebrate our mini (6 months!) anniversary. watched clone high and went to bed early.

today, mikeyaz had to go to work early so i slept in, caught up on my blog-reading, then went to a cafe for a sandwich and finished up a room of one's own by viriginia woolf. so incredibly good. sometimes, i feel like i read books at just the right time in my life. just when i have these massive life questions, i seem to always pick up a book that has the answers clearly laid out for me. virigina woolf is a relatable lady.

that is all for now, dear blog world that i so often abandon. i won't make any promises of more frequent blogging for fear that i may break them, and with them, your little bloggy heart. but i am hopeful that we shall cross paths more frequently. internet fingers crossed.

p.s.- that last picture is of boyfriend mikeyaz and i don't wannna brag or nuffin, but isn't he dreamy? i think he's pretty dreamy.

london picks

for my friends who are going abroad (or already are) - these are my recommends for londontown. there's an overwhelming amount to do and this is in no way an exhaustive list (nor am i the best resource- i only spent four months there but i feel like a lifetime wouldn't be enough to cover everything london has to offer) but it's my favorite spots and places i think my amigos would enjoy. so go! play! get an oystercard and don't stop exploring! check timeout for upcoming events! say yes to everything! except drugs and jack the ripper! and pirates of the caribbean 4!

Sir John Soane Museum
Where: 13 Lincoln's Inn Fields
Tube Stop: Holborn
What: Old museum in a dude’s house, full of neat-o Roman and Grecian architecture stuff. Arranged to appeal to the aesthetic senses, not to inform. Glorious.
Why: Go the first Tuesday of the month for the candlelight tour. That’s how visitors originally saw the place and it’s insanely cool. It starts at 6 and the line gets pretty long (they only let a certain amount of people in at a time) so get there early to grab a spot!
Web: http://www.soane.org/

Hootananny
Where: 95 Effra Road
Hood: Brixton
What: Laid-back party venue with excellent live music and a non-pretentious vibe.
Why: Because most London clubs seem stuck up, but this place is chill. Also because of the taco stand parked in the courtyard out front. Bangin’ tacos.
Web: http://www.hootanannybrixton.co.uk/

Hummingbird Bakery
Where: All over the place, but I frequented the one at 47 Old Brompton Road
Tube Stop: South Kensington (right near the Natural History Museum and the V&A!)
What: CUPCAKES
Why: Exotic flavors, decent prices, cute atmosphere, near sweet-ass museums, and also because they’re CUPCCAKKKEEESSSS. I tried a lot of different cupcake spots in London and this was the one I kept going back to.
Web: http://hummingbirdbakery.com/

A PERFECT NIGHT IN ANGEL
Screen on the Green
Step One: Byron Burger
Where: 341 Upper Street (though there are several locations all over London)
Tube: Angel
What: Awesome burgers and shakes.
Why: Because we’re American and we need burgers and shakes to survive. There’s a ton of great places to eat in Angel so this is just a suggestion. You can also try a place further down Upper Street (away from the Angel tube stop) that’s name has something to do with the circus. Or maybe it just reminds me of the circus. Either way, that place is good too.
Web: http://www.byronhamburgers.com

Step Two: Visiting Cute Little Shops
Where: Around the Upper Street Area directly off the Angel tube stop.
Tube: Angel
What: A bajillion adorable antiques shops and vendors surrounded by a trillion cute knick-knackaries.
Why: Because browsing is fun and you need to walk off that burger.

Step Three: Screen at the Green
Where: 83 Upper Street
Tube: Angel
What: Kickass movie theater.
Why: Because you can get awesome snacks and a pint of Guinness to nom on while you watch kick back in chairs way comfier than the shit you’re used to placing your buttocks on. There’s only one screen and it’s super cozy, though a tad overpriced. Suck it up. It’s worth the experience. They do a lot of special screenings and I highly recommend going to one of those. I saw The Godfather there and it kicked ass. You also kick ass. Transitively . . . you need to go there.
Web: http://www.everymancinema.com/cinemas/screen-on-the-green/tomorrow/whats-on

Showstopper
Where: Wherever the website says it is!
Tube: Also dependent on website info.
What: A completely original improvised musical- totally different every single time.
Why: I interned with the guy who runs this group and sat through their performances twice a week. MIND-BLOWING. So incredibly genius and hilarious. I laughed harder than any paying guest in that tiny pub theater. Which brings me to my next point: it’s pub theater! You can get your drink on and experienced a more relaxed experience quintessential to the London theater scene. CULTURE POINTS!
Side note: it may be in a totally different venue now, it which case you lose the British pub-theater culture points but you probably gain some sort of other points.
Web: http://www.showstopperthemusical.com/

Globe Theater
Where: 21 New Globe Walk
Tube: Mansion House or Southwark
What: A recreation of Billy Shakes old digs.
Why: Because your old English teacher would want you to. Go see a show and stand for the whole thing- so incredible and an entirely different theatrical experience. Then go on the tour because there are a BAJILION fun facts and the tour guides are super interesting and it’s so good and it’s HISTORY dummies!
Web: http://www.shakespearesglobe.com/

War Horse
Where: The New London Theater - 166 Drury Lane
Tube: Covent Garden or Holborn
What: Incredible play with mechanical horses.
Why: It reminds you of the incredible capabilities of theater. It’s beautiful.
Web: http://warhorselondon.nationaltheatre.org.uk/

Portobello Market
Where: Portobello Road, near Notting Hill
Tube: Notting Hill Gate
What: Market that goes on for miles.
Why: Awesome people watching, great antiques to sift through, food vendors in the middle. Go early; go alone or with a small handful of people because it gets packed. Walk the whole length because it’s impressive how long it stretches on.
Web: http://www.portobellomarket.org/

Monster Supply Store
Where: 159 Hoxton Street,
Tube: Hoxton
What: Cute ‘monster supply’ store in the front of a tutoring center.
Why: It’s a quirky – but extremely tiny – storefront. The back is a tutoring center aligned with 826 Valencia (Dave Eggers project) and the people who volunteer at the shop/tutoring place are really friendly. Not worth making a separate trip for but if you’re in the hood, stop by!
Web: http://www.ministryofstories.org/

Breakfast Club
Where: 2-4 Rufus Street
Tube: Old Street
What: Delicious ‘American’ food! Great for breakfast!
Why: Huge portions! Awesome if you’re craving a home-style breakfast in a cute, kitschy environment. I remember the staff being really awesome too. There are a couple locations (including one in Islington!) but this is a good way to see another neighborhood and it’s one of the more spacious spots. Good for hangover breakfast too.
Web: http://www.thebreakfastclubcafes.com/

Petticoat Lane Market
Where: Middlesex Street
Tube: Liverpool Street
What: A MARKET!
Why: I would be lying if I said I actually went to this market. BUT! On my last day in London, after a delicious meal at the Breakfast Club, I walked towards it and damn. You should go just for the walk there. There’s a bazillion cute shops and antiques and an incredible old-time glamour beauty salon that you should TOTALLY go to because I wanted to and didn’t get a chance to and now I shall live vicariously through you. Super cute area, and I’m imaging that the market follows suit.
Web: http://www.alondonguide.com/petticoatlane.html

Burrough Market
Where: 8 Southwark Street
Tube: London Bridge
What: Food Market
Why: Total foodie paradise. You will want to eat everything. Go for lunch, stay for second lunch, pick up some cheeses and dips to take home to yo’ flat. Sit near the church in the grass to eat! Watch people!
Web: http://www.boroughmarket.org.uk/

Churchill Arms
Where: 119 Kensington Church St.
Tube: Notting Hill Gate
What: Pub with a secret
Why: Cute, traditional pub full of Winston Churchill memorabilia. The outside is overflowing with flowers and the inside has a Weasley Burrow-feel. The real surprise is in the back- because past the British pride there’s a delicious, reasonably - priced Thai restaurant in the back! Major boo-ya! Best kind of surprise!
Web: http://www.pubs.com/main_site/pub_details.php?pub_id=43#map

Bea’s of Bloomsbury
Where: 83 Watling Street
Tube: St. Paul’s
What: Perfect cream tea
Why: Because you’re in London and you need to get your tea on. Go with the full cream tea- it comes on an adorable tray with an assortment of awesome pastries, scones and clotted cream, and your own pot of tea. Totally delicious in a cute atmosphere. There’s another location near the Holborn tube stop, but it gets pretty crowded- see if you can call ahead to reserve!
Web: http://www.beasofbloomsbury.com/

The Drunken Monkey
Where: 221-222 Shoreditch High Street
Tube: Shoreditch High Street
What: Dim sum and beer.
Why: The only thing hotter than the bartenders are the dumplings. I’m officially 40. (Other reasons? Tons of special events like movies and DJ’s along with a huge selection of beers and a hip atmosphere.)
Web: http://www.thedrunkenmonkey.co.uk/

The Parlour at Sketch
Where: 9 Conduit Street
Tube: Oxford Circus
What: Mad Hatter’s Tea Party
Why: This place is lush. The decorating is insanely awesome- most notably the trippy-ass bathrooms. It’s on the pricey side but they have some good afternoon tea deals and it would be worth the splurge.
Web: http://www.sketch.uk.com/

Betsey Smith
Where: 77 Kilburn High Road
Tube: Kilburn High Road
What: Mad Hatter’s Drunk Tea Party
Why: Scratch’n’Sniff wallpaper! Chairs on the ceiling! Flamingos and gnomes everywhere! Booze served in teapots! Savory drinks garnished with cheese! The list goes on for days! Be sure to bring a pocketful of pounds though.
Web: http://www.thebetsysmith.co.uk/

OTHER THINGS TO DO:
- Go to Brick Lane! It’s literally all vintage shops and Indian food. And please, for the love of God, stay away from Piccadilly Circus at night- it’s ridiculously touristy and not worth a pence- Brick Lane is where it’s at! Much nicer/cooler crowds, more live music, AND (drum roll)- a bunch of the Brick Lane clubs have barbeque pits in their courtyard. So you can get your dance on AND your grill on. Beautiful. After you stumble out of the club, stumble directly into a “beigel” shop- they’re everywhere and insanely cheap. Like thirty-five pence cheap. Eat ten.
- Drink Snakebites! Half beer, half cider, topped with a dash of black currant juice. They are purple and delicious and you should drink them on the reg.
- Go to museums alone. And go to all of them. There are so many good free ones. Going by yourself allows you to move at your own pace and really explore and think and watch people and reflect. It’s a really enriching experience. The V&A is a classic but there are also a bunch of really interesting British war museums and tiny spots catering to niche interests. If you need more specific recommendations, let me know.
- Ride the double-decker bus on the top, front seat. It’s the best. Especially at night. Do it as often as you can.

professional tailgaters

i am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a sports fan. the extent of my sports knowledge ends at Mighty Ducks. not even the sequels. just the first one.

i am, however, a huge fan of hype. i love me some bandwagon. any opportunity to dress is specific colors and yell in a crowd- i'm all about that. so naturally, i love tailgating. it's like all the best part of sports without the actual sports. i get to dress up, drink and eat, chant things with strangers, and not have to watch a second of any game other than bean bag toss. (or as some of my friends call it, 'cornhole'. i refuse to call it that.)

my dear friend doug is leaving this week (today actually!) to work in nicaragua, so we decided a good ol' fashioned phillies game would be a good american send-off. we organized a group to go together and arranged to bring the appropriate supplies. it wasn't until we got there, that we realized that none of us had purchased tickets. we all assumed some other portion of the party would be going to the game, therefore validating our tailgating, but in the end, we were all too cheap to actually shell out seventeen bucks for standing room. we instead, put that money towards parking and beverages, and had a grand ol' time listening to the game in the parking lot and goofing off. eventually, everyone went into the game because most people who tailgate are actual ticketholders, but we stayed out there dancing and hanging well into the seventh inning. immense success of all parts.