dear friendship bread:

i was worried about you. you were looking a little lumpy and you exploded all over my counter. you had some random crumbs in you and something blue- possibly cleaning solution. in all honesty, i didn't think you were going to turn out well at all. i actually considered throwing you away. but, in the spirit of friendship, i kept you. and i am so glad i did. you turned out delicious! you'll have to pose for some pictures for me later so i can share you with the world. if not in taste, at least in the visual sense.

love,
caitlin

new shoes: hideous? or glorious? or a strange combination of both?

i'm drawn to ugly things for some reason. and in all fairness, i've had my eye on them for quite a while. i'm just a sucker for fringe and soft fur lining. so when they were on clearance today for twelve bucks, i knew it was fate. they're super comfy. sorry about the awkward picture. my usb is still out of commission (i wiped off the dough right after the incident, but i think some still dried in the little metal thing. so it goes. i'll get a new one off of k.dubs. he always has like fifty laying around. such is the life of an i.t. nerd. or the daughter of a computer geek.)

i went to see away we go with my little brother tonight. that's what's so great about siblings- they have to be your friend. they're born into the friendship. so when i come home at ten and demand that he come see a movie with me, he has to. or mom will be mad. ahh, best friends.

anyway, i was already fairly certain i was going to like the movie considering dave eggers and his wife wrote the screenplay and john krasinski was in it. i was just naturally biased. and in fact, i did really enjoy it. i laughed very hard at certain parts and teared up at others. the love story part (which wasn't really the main focus) was just so beautiful. i've been thinking about a lot about love recently, which sounds so hokey, but regardless, i've been thinking about it. i've come to the conclusion that a lot of my issues with guys stem from the fact that i have completely forgotten that they have feelings and are capable of actually liking girls in an emotional ways. this seems so basic, but i think a combination of experience and rap music has lead me to believe otherwise. and since i think boys don't have feelings, i have thus, turned off all of my feelings and capacity for liking anyone in anything other than a physical sense because i have subconsciously decided that these emotions are unimportant and void and in general, unnecessary in the game. (game as in the post-modernist sense- thank you dr. jacob kim for rewiring my brain. now all i think about are how things look in light of the author and what the rules are and the field and blah blah blah. thanks a lot. i hate sports.) anyway, this conclusion has been reached at a perfect time- a time when i was beginning to wonder why i hadn't had an honest crush on anyone in over two years. this is why! and while i would hardly call this a problem (it actually simplifies a lot to take out the human variable of emotion), i have found a solution! or at least an explanation! it just feels nice to work things out. i don't feel like i have to fix anything because that's not how i operate. if it's how i am, it's how i am. i don't set out to make myself any different than what i am naturally inclined to be. but once i dissect certain behaviors and the reasoning behind them, it's easier for me to be open to new things and try different things. it's a growing thing.

other things i've figured out:
1. i'm naturally inclined to like actresses with similar coloring/facial shapes to mine. example: zooey deschanel. other example: maggie glyllenhaal (because we both have brown hair and round faces and brothers)
2. only two things can make me really really cry. like, just thinking about them, cry. they are: miscarriages and the death of immediate family. i realized this while my parents were away and i was worried about them and the thoughts were solidified when i teared up during away we go.

finally

i finally ordered it.
it should be arriving wednesday or thursday.
excitement abounds.

my wallet and a stripper's g-string have a lot in common

example: they both have a lot of ones stuffed in them.

or they both have gonorrhea.

i have so many things i want to write on here! when you work in a deserted coffee shop, and find that you are no longer interested in experimenting with the flavored syrups because even the sight of them makes you want to projectile vomit everywhere, you really have no choice but to do an extensive amount of thinking. mostly scholarly thinking. this thinking leads to lists on the back of recipts and order forms which are then shoved into your purse and forgotten. UNTIL, you happen to spill salad greens in your purse and are forced to clean it out. then you find the lists again and are reminded of your brilliance and decide to share your brillance with the entire blogsophere (or the five people who read your blog!)

so here are the thoughts i have thunk while bored at work! in list form!

1. i hate crocs. but you know what's even worse than crocs? knock-off crocs. ya'll can't even spring for brand name ugly. you're putting generic awful on your feet.

2. i've noticed that whenever i come across a new bathroom, i always pick a stall and decide that it shall be my stall. then, whenever i use it in the future, i always go to that stall. i will wait for that stall. i feel like we have a relationship. it is familiar.

3. i'm more afraid of being attacked by a water animal than a land animal because i feel that water animals (or creatures. . . ) have a much bigger advantage. i could fight an animal on land (or endure its attack with greater ease) because the land is my turf too. i know the land. i live on the land. but in the water, well, that's not where i roll. that's not my turf. they have too big an advantage. the thing was over before it even began.

4. after seeing snakes on a plane, i've noticed that i spend a lot of time thinking about places snakes could hide. they could be anywhere. give me a room, i'll tell you where the snakes will be.

5. at work, when parents are obnoxious or stealing kisses, i've found that i enjoy politely humiliating them instead of just outright scolding them. the polite humiliation method is just much more satisfying and often results in just plain embarrassed and bashful adults as opposed to angry or attitude-y adults.

6. i always forget how much space i'm taking up when i wear a bookbag. i forget that it's like having a whole other body. i hit people with that shit all the time.

7. i saw a little girl wearing an abortion shirt. it just said "ABORTION". why would you let your child wear that to chocolate world? why do they even make a little girl sized abortion shirt? how does an 8-year old know what abortion is? that just seems wrong. and unfair. and i feel like a lot of parents are going to be pretty upset when they go to chocolate world for some family fun and have their first grader who just learned how to sound things out asking about abortion instead of where candy comes from. just saying.

8. i think an angle the anti-drug campaigns have been ignoring- which could be very effective- is the whole cost issue. sure, drugs are bad and get you in trouble and kill you or whatever, but i think what's going to be the biggest deterrent is the price. drugs are expensive. everyone knows you'll have to pay some ridiculous suburban markup for a plastic bag full of oregano or some kid's ridilin- that's the obvious cost- but where it really hits you is the munchie section. can you really afford to be droppin' fifteen bucks at sheetz every time you blaze? are you a millionaire? i don't think so. you can't afford to do drugs hot shot. stick to vandalism.

9. i would like to drink out of mason jars more often. i feel like someone who sits on railroad tracks whenever i do.

in other news, my usb cord fell into some friendship bread batter today and is now broke. wamp wamp.

also: remind me to tell you about the olive oil incident.

several matters:

but just two for now:

1. is it sad that half of my 25 most played itunes songs are christmas songs? or is it beautiful?

2. i know who my real friends are because we can talk hp for hours and hours. and make obscure references and still have everyone in the room understand.

3. i spilled a salad in my purse and thought i lost my name tag.

4. i love my apron.

that was four.

missin' TU

you know.

present wrapping!

not the craziest, but i was impressed. pat on the back self. nice work.

a belated happy papas day

thanks for helping me with all my technology-related questions and calming me down when i'm freaked out by the science behind computers. thanks for dancing with me in the kitchen. thanks for playing along with my stupid jokes at dinner. you're a wonderful father and husband to my mommy. you've set some very high standards for the men in my life. (example: they must be able to grow a mustache as sweet as yours.) you're the best mango-man.

king, queen, junior mint

so many good things.

oh blog!

i have so many things i want to tell you!
but i have cakes to bake and errands to run.
so right now i leave you with this:
i found a dead mouse in the pool, floating a little downstream of a few comatose frogs.

working with crazy people/thoughts on missy elliott

dear lord almighty.
part of my job at the coffee shop is to make up these gift basket things with candy or whatever. it's absurdly simple. tape some candy together, throw it in a basket, wrap it in plastic, curl the ribbon. done.
but today i worked with a woman who was a competitive basket-making freak. she was obsessive about them. she was stressing herself out about the baskets. i had to do everything in my power not to laugh. every time she would let out a sigh and rub her forehead in distress, stepping backwards to stare at the basket, saying to herself "how will this ever work!?!?", i would tell her not to worry about it- that i could make the baskets. and i can. not to brag, but i'm pretty good at making baskets. (good to know in case the whole communications thing doesn't work out.) she would sigh and allow me to take on some of the workload but then HOVER over me the entire time. saying, "tilt this!" or "center that!" or my personal favorite "does that look right to you?". just crazy, passive-aggressive things. woman is nuts. very very sweet, but nuts. other than that, work was ballin'. $14.75 in tips? yuss please!

in other news: why is missy elliott so fucking cool? does anyone know? is it just the track suits? or her ability to brag about sex and her skills like a dude (this i really like- not like "ooo i'm a lady and i'm sexyyyyy and i want you in an emotional wayyyy because i like making looooovveeeee" but like "freak ya in ya sleep!" or like "not on the bed, lay me on the sofa" or "ain't no shame ladies, do your thang!")? or is it her incredible dance skills? or the fact that she makes me want to dance? i don't think its anything i could ever put in words. the words to describe it aren't even known to man. when i get to heaven, i shall ask the great diety to tell me in his cosmic language, the secret to why missy is such a bamf.

a glorious day in the realm of thrift

todays loot:
1. diy framed paper bird kit
2. floral bikini top
3. unicorn forest glass set (3! one for me and my two closest friends. you may fight over the title.)
4. white studded purse
5. pistol club mug (the mug selection has been out of control recently.)
6. sixties floral fabric (nice and heavy!)
7. wooden florida tray
8. cream silk slip with lace trim (i lost my other one! sadness abounds!)
9. a glorious bingo prize. all the kids will be biting each other for a chance to get this bad boy.

i unexpectedly ran into matt, anna, liz, and eric at salv al and we ended up staying until the store closed, then hitting up the diner for food and raunchy conversation. (seriously- we're not usually that bad, but we were just gross tonight. tent vagina? barbells for you vagina? flabby/floppy vaginas? peeing the bed? best blackouts? yeah. it was like that.) i like when these random things happen. they always end up being the most fun.

oh! and anna and i were complimented on our conversational skills by a man behind us in line at salvation army. "so many people just don't know how to have a good conversation these days. so many people just don't know how to have fun." i told him we were professionals at both, and we practiced quite frequently.

tomorrow is day 11 of 14 in the work-a-palooza-thon. almost at the end! (AND i got money in the bankkk. shawty, what do you think about that?)

seriously.

is this not the most precious baby girl?
she slept the entire time.
well first she stared down jimmy and made judgmental faces at him. then she just dozed off. we got our burritos, ate said burritos, discussed tlc and mtv, took the conversation to the parking lot- the whole time, this little baby just kept sleeping, occassionally making a disgruntled old person sleep face. look at those cheeks! and those chins! so good! it was so nice to see jen again- she lives so friggin close! it should really happen more often. and hanging out with my fake-boyfriend jimmy is always a good time.

babies&burritos=baller of a tuesday.

with friends like you, who needs friends?

illogical things i'm afraid of (most of them involving sharks):
1. a shark will attack me in my pool (there's this weird white thing at the bottom of the deep end and i'm sure it's a drain to the ocean.)
2. i'll fall and hit my head on the side of one of those white vans. and die.
3. a shark will somehow shoot up from the floor of my shower and eat me.
4. a shark will shoot up from my toliet and eat me.
5. snakes might be hiding around the rim of my toliet. under the seat. you know? they could totally fit there. tricky mofo's.
6. a shark will somehow fly out of space and eat me while i'm on the street.
7. someone will be waiting under my car and will slash my ankles/calves when i try to unlock it.
8. someone will reach out from under my bed and grab my ankles. (even while typing this i got so freaked out i had to put my legs on the bed.)
9. as i'm walking on a busy city street, someone in the opposing pedestrian sidewalk traffic will stab me in the stomach and keep walking. i always picture them wearing a suit.
10. i'll get accidentally mixed up in mob affairs.
11. a ufo will abduct me in the middle of the night. i hear those ufos a lot.
12. a mass murderer will be hiding in my bushes and slash my throat as i try to make it to the front door. (that's why i run from my car to my door)
13. all the people i love will turn out to be aliens/robots/not real people and i'm the only real person and i don't know where to go
14. being on a boat when there's a titanic like situation.

there are so many.
i could go on forever.
i need to calm down.

i am young

several things:
1. i love this dress. i bought it at the same time i bought the sequin butterfly shirt. it's glorious. it makes me want to cruise down old country roads on murray. or walk down the boardwalk with a vanilla ice cream cone. or date a boy with a bow tie. (or two)
2. the hangover was hilarious. seriously. so funny. the only thing better than the movie itself was the commentary from the people behind us ("shit. i've never seen a gay asian before. that's funny.") and matt barry's laugh (just when you think it's over, it comes up again as a wheezey hysterical tidal wave. very distinctive. oh matthew.)
3. i love toast.
4. i'm currently in love with the songs 'i am young' and 'microphone' by coconut records and 'sleepyhead' by passion pit.
5. i hate my sexy new blue phone. it deleted all my contacts. nice one sexy blue.
6. i work a lot. but i don't mind. i need the money.
7. i realized part of the reason smoking really bothers me. it's a habit and a dependency thing. i subconsciously consider it a weakness. and i don't like weak people. it's also just very bad for you and smells awful.
8. tomorrow is a new day! i'm going to do things!

i don't know you and you don't know me

let it go.
let it go.


but i can't jason. you are just too damn cute. my love for you has been rekindled.

would you like room for cream? non-fat, two percent, or whole?

so i have a new job. at the cocoa beanery in the hotel hershey. which is located in hershey, pennsylvania. the hotel itself is beautiful. it was built in 1933 and has expanded to over 3 times it's original size. it includes a spa with chocolate treatments, spanish-market inspired lobby, five-star restaurant, rental cottages in the back, a glorious brand-new entrance with a fountain- the works. i love hotels. and this is a superior hotel.

i started working the coffee shop portion of the hotel on thursday. it sucks because we're currently moving around so we're in a tiny hidden closet space right now. no one comes in. the few people who do venture to our isolated spot, are so wary of it's location, they just peek around the corner like it's some sort of trap. like we're going to abduct them. the people who do come in are very nice. i love making drinks and talking to people. even cleaning. i work with nice ladies. i make nice money. i get to read on the job. i also get to eat and make myself drinks. and i can experiment with the flavored syrups! i mostly make experimental lattes and italian sodas. we have so many good flavors. favorite combos include apple&vanilla and the classic chocolate&caramel. i'm keeping it simple for now, but i'll let you know when i get more elaborate with my flavoring.

it's just nice to have such a calm job after chocolate world. i'm also given more responsibility, which i like. and i feel like i'm really getting into the swing of things there pretty quickly. i like new things.

sidenote: concierge? seems like a sweet job.
other sidenote: i also get to make up gift baskets. and everything smells like freshly ground gourmet coffee. mmmmmmm.

i don't care where you are

the grass is always greener in the 717.
and the sky is always bluer. (bluer? blue-er? very blue? the color of the lovechild of a smurf and the genie from aladdin?)
and the people are sweeter.
(its probably our proximity to hershey)

love me some banjo

my friend fisher just got a new banjo and is now in a bluegrass band. he used to be into metal so it's hilarious to hear him sing twangy songs and johnny cash covers. i wish i played an instrument.

"get the blue one. it's sexy."

this is my new phone! i went to at&t and told them what i wanted straight up: cheap, can make phone calls, has texting capabilities, isn't touch screen or keyboard (my fingers are too chubby for that shit. i just end up touching everything and getting mad), can fit in my back pocket, and is as basic as possible. i'm seriously an old person. i can't handle new technology. keep it basic. give me buttons. so Geraldine helped me pick out this little baby. she also advised me to get the blue one (versus red) because the blue is "sexy." we also talked about how awesome february birthdays are. ("people born in february are level-headed, you know? but people born in march. . . they ain't quite right."). i'm still getting used to the whole "sliding" thing but for the most part i like it so far. just adjusting. huzzah, huzzah!

the thrifting gods have smiled upon me. . .

ain't she a beaut?
an older mother and daughter (talking like, 80's and late 40's) pair ooh'd and ahh'd over it with me. apparently the mom "used to have one just like it!" and it's "so easy to wear!" yes. yes. and yes. i'm pumped.

"fluer de bluer! creme de le douche!"

seriously.
there is not enough space on the internet for me to describe everything that happened in montreal. the city itself was beautiful. all the boys there were beautiful. all the food we ate was wonderful. our apartment was glorious. so many good things happened. just beautiful, beautiful trip. you just had to be there. we rep'd america pretty hard. my friends are insane.

a moment of silence

R.I.P. Old Phone
you've served me well over the past two years.
we've had some good times.
i'm sorry you got crushed.
you deserved better.
i hope you like phone heaven.