illogical things i'm afraid of (most of them involving sharks):1. a shark will attack me in my pool (there's this weird white thing at the bottom of the deep end and i'm sure it's a drain to the ocean.)
2. i'll fall and hit my head on the side of one of those white vans. and die.
3. a shark will somehow shoot up from the floor of my shower and eat me.
4. a shark will shoot up from my toliet and eat me.
5. snakes might be hiding around the rim of my toliet. under the seat. you know? they could totally fit there. tricky mofo's.
6. a shark will somehow fly out of space and eat me while i'm on the street.
7. someone will be waiting under my car and will slash my ankles/calves when i try to unlock it.
8. someone will reach out from under my bed and grab my ankles. (even while typing this i got so freaked out i had to put my legs on the bed.)
9. as i'm walking on a busy city street, someone in the opposing pedestrian sidewalk traffic will stab me in the stomach and keep walking. i always picture them wearing a suit.
10. i'll get accidentally mixed up in mob affairs.
11. a ufo will abduct me in the middle of the night. i hear those ufos a lot.
12. a mass murderer will be hiding in my bushes and slash my throat as i try to make it to the front door. (that's why i run from my car to my door)
13. all the people i love will turn out to be aliens/robots/not real people and i'm the only real person and i don't know where to go
14. being on a boat when there's a titanic like situation.
there are so many.
i could go on forever.
i need to calm down.
I totally understand!!!!
ReplyDeleteI have been freaking out about every little thing that could possible happen after my plane ride back from Hawaii.
Thank god you are woman enough to admit your feelings.
these are highly improbable... well at least the shark ones.
ReplyDeletebut the others.. about murderers, and ufos, and people jumping out at you... i think about that too.
i always check my car before i get in. and i always check the shower if the shower curtain isn't pushed back... because let's be honest, no one wants to meet their doom in the bathroom.
Oh my god DITTO! Especially about the sharks. I have an unnecessary fear of sharks being in swimming pools. When I was a kid I also wouldn't let myself stretch my legs out underneath my covers because I thought scorpions were at the end of my bed and every time I got out of bed I would try to jump as far away from the edge as possible to prevent Freddy Krueger from slashing my ankles with his finger knives. I also often think about what I would do if there was a sudden outbreak of zombies. I think my 3 greatest fears are 1) sharks, 2) zombies, and 3) dolls coming to life. All these things can be attributed to my watching of the x-files at a young age.
ReplyDeleteYou make some really good and equally terrifying points:
ReplyDeleteSnakes are tricky mofos and ufos are legit. I've seen one! And these people in my town swear they were abducted. They said they had tests done on them and then they were released - if you visit I'll show you wear it all went down.
When I get in my car I wave my hand around the dark back seat to make sure no one is back there. If I ever end up hitting someone I'll probably have a heart attack.