mad for mad men

 

are you nerds watching mad men? because if you're not riding that train, you better hop on. three solid reasons: 

1. i'm watching it and it will strengthen our bond if we're consuming the same programming & discussing it regularly. 

2. stunning costumes. 

3. gripping, character-driven stories. 

it took me a couple tries to get into the show, i'll admit. but day-um. worth it. i blew through the first five seasons in two and a half weeks. these people are nuts! my jaw was dropping so frequently i started to just let it hang open! the first four seasons are on netflix so you're in luck - the fifth season is on demand or you can watch it online or you might be so hooked at that point, you'll just commit to the dvds. (though i'm not sure if they're out yet. i have no time to fact check this post! my passion for mad men is taking over!) and we're currently only 3 episodes in to this season, so you haven't missed much! 

i watched the two hour season premiere with some homies and this was the spread - pb&j ritz crackers, unpictured mac'n'cheese, full size pigs in a blanket with an american single squashed in there, and of course, some whiskey sours with homemade sours mix and tiny umbrellas to wash it all down. because this show seriously makes you want to drink. all the time. if you watch this show, i promise i will buy you a glass of bourbon at our next meeting. 

spoils of sale

 

 did you guys know there's a yard sale section on craigslist? recently, craigslist has been my main hub for internet time wasting. i can scroll through that business for hours. i typically stick to the same categories: apartments, motorcycles (sorry mom!), gardening, free stuff, furniture. but occasionally i branch out. 

hence, the discovery of the yard sale section. 

and further hence, the discovery of the most stylish yard sale ever. 

these two lady gal pals apparently host seasonal yard sales where they cull all their beautiful, yet somehow unwanted things and sell them for stupid cheap. this also all takes place in one of their gorgeously decorated homes (blue walls! built in book cases! vintage black printed couch!) and they're wearing matching aprons. so. cute. 

i could have just gone in and done a sweeping motion with my hand and roared, "I'LL TAKE THE LOT!" but i was a poor more discerning shopper, and instead selected a few items to add to my collection: 3 books, 2 bird ceramic wine stoppers, camel tea pot, and 3 rolls of unopened decadent wallpaper. what am i going to do with wallpaper as a 20-something renter? probably just droll all over it. which might ruin it. but, for $3 a roll (compared to the original $30) i think it's worth it. one day, i will be a person who can wallpaper a room. one day.

good things

 

happy spring ya turkeys! holy blog hibernation - it's been a while since I ventured into this territory. but i'm back! with a feeble attempt at a simpler blog design and big ol' pictures shot on my state-of-the-art i-phone! a technological marvel! 

 the photo is of some gorgeous blooms i picked up for myself at trader joes (main grocery store crush) around valentines day. sweet goddamn how i love having flowers in the house! six bucks at the grocery store - a quick impulse buy - and i feel like i'm living in the lap of luxary. i'm a lady who lunches or buys not just one (a feat!) but multiple things at anthropologie. i'm suddenly a person who might laugh in a convertible with a scarf blowing around my head or ride a bike in a full crinoline with a basket full of flowers and not look like i'm drenched in sweat. i'm a lady who can make fondant or buys make up at department stores. that whole lifestyle - for six bucks! oh trader joes. how you make the good things in life accessible for us little folk.

foods i'll always love

1. avocado
2. caramel
3. sweet potato fries
4. crab & cheese on an english muffin
5. august tomatoes from my parent's backyard

an ear lowering

guys, how much do you love haircuts? a lot, right? we're all on board with that. i love haircuts. though you won't be able to tell - i get it cut once a year. i typically treat my hair like a blanket that someone draped across my head. i think it's great that it's up there - it makes my large round face look less weird but i'm not about to start spending my time twirling it and applying product. so i just let it hang up there, like a furry veil. and out of nowhere, it'll just hit me that i haven't had a haircut in a long time and suddenly, shit gets urgent. IT NEEDS TO ALL BE GONE NOW! I AM LIVING LIKE A CAVEWOMAN OR AN EIGHTIES GLAM ROCKER! GIVE ME ALL THE SHARP THINGS AND LET ME TAKE CARE OF THIS SITUATION STAT!

so i sent up an appointment on monday. and i went. and i felt guilty that i ignore my 'do consistently. i made small talk with the fancy lady flashing the sheers. and now i'm sporting slightly shorter locks that feel infinitely lighter and healthier.

but the better part of getting a haircut? feeling like it's a fresh start. it's difficult to make changes to how you live or what your career path is or how you're perceived by your peers. but getting a haircut is immediate, and in your control, and noticeable. and if you can do that, maybe you can do all those other things. maybe this is a new version of yourself. this is the start of you finally becoming who you really are. (i've been watching mad men a lot, can you tell? i feel like i'm writing copy targeted at betty draper right now.)

so the long and short of it is (but more aptly short): i got my hair cut.

rice blind

sometimes, i'm extremely rude. i know you find this hard to believe, dear readers, because if you are reading this you are probably related to me and think i'm just swell & dandy & sweeter than a molasses covered marshmallow. this is not true.

sometimes i think i am the jason alexander of my friend group. and not the fun neurotic seinfeld jason; pretty woman jason. i'm not slapping julia roberts but i'm still the wet blanket of the group. squashing fun. acting as a nagging reminder of obligations and expectations.

yesterday, my dear roommate spilled rice on our counter. not just a few grains; a handful. just scattered across the counter like a bunch of armless, albino sunbathers on a private beach. i should have just sighed to myself and scooped them up and into the trash. but i didn't. i had to be a jason.

"hey ben? did you maybe spill some rice over here?"
"umm...i don't think so?"
"could you come look?"
"sure. oh yeah - i guess i did spill some. i didn't even see that."
"you didn't see that?! ARE YOU RICE BLIND?"

1) totally unnecessary
2) completely passive agressive
3) wtf is rice blind? i am losing my mind.

my inner ranting madman says SERIOUSLY. SERIOUSLY?! HOW DO YOU NOT SEE ALL THIS RICE ON THE COUNTER? AND WHAT'S THE EXPECTATION HERE? THAT A RICE FAIRY WILL FLY IN CAST A SPELL ON THE GRAINS, TURNING THEM INTO MORE RICE FAIRIES? YOU KNOW WE HAVE MICE, RIGHT? WHO DO YOU THINK IS CLEANING UP THIS RIIICCCCEEEEEEEE.

but i know i should shut that madman down. that it isn't a priority for some people. that it was an honest mistake that could have been handled much better. but there i go again. metaphorically slapping julia.

i'm so sorry pandora

 

i think one of the things that hurts my feelings most on a regular basis is the little box that pops up on pandora and asks, "are you still listening? we pay for every song and don't want to play our music to an empty room." it just hits me where it hurts. sometimes i read the first line like a small child, who wants me to watch them do a trick on the diving board but i'm too busy digging salsa out of the bottom of the jar so i miss it and they know i miss it so they climb out of the pool all wet and shivering and say "didja see it? were you watching?" in a mix between oliver's 'please sir i want some more' voice and the 'say it ain't so joe' kid's voice. and i'm left with salsa on my chin and no good explanation as to what happened. and pandora's generally right on this one - i did walk away from my computer to make hot chocolate. i did take off my headphone cause they were rubbing against my earrings but forgot to turn off the music. i'm a crummy person. i get it pandora. sheesh. 

but the next line they give me is just snarky. 'we don't like to play music to an empty room'. that's a sitcom girlfriend trying to start a fight kind of line. no, i get it pandora - i don't think anyone likes to play music to an empty room. but you're not really a person. i didn't hire a dj and then leave him in a closet spinning discs solo. i didn't order a 25 foot ice cream cake and let it melt at a graduation party. let's try to keep the snark levels down. all that sympathy and shame you won in the first line? lost by the second line. now i'm pissed at you pandora. now i'm glad i wasn't listening. because you're rude and you're making me feel like a jerk. i'm shutting you down pandora! i don't care about your feelings anymore! because you have been abusing my feels. rude.