dear friendship bread:

i was worried about you. you were looking a little lumpy and you exploded all over my counter. you had some random crumbs in you and something blue- possibly cleaning solution. in all honesty, i didn't think you were going to turn out well at all. i actually considered throwing you away. but, in the spirit of friendship, i kept you. and i am so glad i did. you turned out delicious! you'll have to pose for some pictures for me later so i can share you with the world. if not in taste, at least in the visual sense.

love,
caitlin

new shoes: hideous? or glorious? or a strange combination of both?

i'm drawn to ugly things for some reason. and in all fairness, i've had my eye on them for quite a while. i'm just a sucker for fringe and soft fur lining. so when they were on clearance today for twelve bucks, i knew it was fate. they're super comfy. sorry about the awkward picture. my usb is still out of commission (i wiped off the dough right after the incident, but i think some still dried in the little metal thing. so it goes. i'll get a new one off of k.dubs. he always has like fifty laying around. such is the life of an i.t. nerd. or the daughter of a computer geek.)

i went to see away we go with my little brother tonight. that's what's so great about siblings- they have to be your friend. they're born into the friendship. so when i come home at ten and demand that he come see a movie with me, he has to. or mom will be mad. ahh, best friends.

anyway, i was already fairly certain i was going to like the movie considering dave eggers and his wife wrote the screenplay and john krasinski was in it. i was just naturally biased. and in fact, i did really enjoy it. i laughed very hard at certain parts and teared up at others. the love story part (which wasn't really the main focus) was just so beautiful. i've been thinking about a lot about love recently, which sounds so hokey, but regardless, i've been thinking about it. i've come to the conclusion that a lot of my issues with guys stem from the fact that i have completely forgotten that they have feelings and are capable of actually liking girls in an emotional ways. this seems so basic, but i think a combination of experience and rap music has lead me to believe otherwise. and since i think boys don't have feelings, i have thus, turned off all of my feelings and capacity for liking anyone in anything other than a physical sense because i have subconsciously decided that these emotions are unimportant and void and in general, unnecessary in the game. (game as in the post-modernist sense- thank you dr. jacob kim for rewiring my brain. now all i think about are how things look in light of the author and what the rules are and the field and blah blah blah. thanks a lot. i hate sports.) anyway, this conclusion has been reached at a perfect time- a time when i was beginning to wonder why i hadn't had an honest crush on anyone in over two years. this is why! and while i would hardly call this a problem (it actually simplifies a lot to take out the human variable of emotion), i have found a solution! or at least an explanation! it just feels nice to work things out. i don't feel like i have to fix anything because that's not how i operate. if it's how i am, it's how i am. i don't set out to make myself any different than what i am naturally inclined to be. but once i dissect certain behaviors and the reasoning behind them, it's easier for me to be open to new things and try different things. it's a growing thing.

other things i've figured out:
1. i'm naturally inclined to like actresses with similar coloring/facial shapes to mine. example: zooey deschanel. other example: maggie glyllenhaal (because we both have brown hair and round faces and brothers)
2. only two things can make me really really cry. like, just thinking about them, cry. they are: miscarriages and the death of immediate family. i realized this while my parents were away and i was worried about them and the thoughts were solidified when i teared up during away we go.

finally

i finally ordered it.
it should be arriving wednesday or thursday.
excitement abounds.

my wallet and a stripper's g-string have a lot in common

example: they both have a lot of ones stuffed in them.

or they both have gonorrhea.

i have so many things i want to write on here! when you work in a deserted coffee shop, and find that you are no longer interested in experimenting with the flavored syrups because even the sight of them makes you want to projectile vomit everywhere, you really have no choice but to do an extensive amount of thinking. mostly scholarly thinking. this thinking leads to lists on the back of recipts and order forms which are then shoved into your purse and forgotten. UNTIL, you happen to spill salad greens in your purse and are forced to clean it out. then you find the lists again and are reminded of your brilliance and decide to share your brillance with the entire blogsophere (or the five people who read your blog!)

so here are the thoughts i have thunk while bored at work! in list form!

1. i hate crocs. but you know what's even worse than crocs? knock-off crocs. ya'll can't even spring for brand name ugly. you're putting generic awful on your feet.

2. i've noticed that whenever i come across a new bathroom, i always pick a stall and decide that it shall be my stall. then, whenever i use it in the future, i always go to that stall. i will wait for that stall. i feel like we have a relationship. it is familiar.

3. i'm more afraid of being attacked by a water animal than a land animal because i feel that water animals (or creatures. . . ) have a much bigger advantage. i could fight an animal on land (or endure its attack with greater ease) because the land is my turf too. i know the land. i live on the land. but in the water, well, that's not where i roll. that's not my turf. they have too big an advantage. the thing was over before it even began.

4. after seeing snakes on a plane, i've noticed that i spend a lot of time thinking about places snakes could hide. they could be anywhere. give me a room, i'll tell you where the snakes will be.

5. at work, when parents are obnoxious or stealing kisses, i've found that i enjoy politely humiliating them instead of just outright scolding them. the polite humiliation method is just much more satisfying and often results in just plain embarrassed and bashful adults as opposed to angry or attitude-y adults.

6. i always forget how much space i'm taking up when i wear a bookbag. i forget that it's like having a whole other body. i hit people with that shit all the time.

7. i saw a little girl wearing an abortion shirt. it just said "ABORTION". why would you let your child wear that to chocolate world? why do they even make a little girl sized abortion shirt? how does an 8-year old know what abortion is? that just seems wrong. and unfair. and i feel like a lot of parents are going to be pretty upset when they go to chocolate world for some family fun and have their first grader who just learned how to sound things out asking about abortion instead of where candy comes from. just saying.

8. i think an angle the anti-drug campaigns have been ignoring- which could be very effective- is the whole cost issue. sure, drugs are bad and get you in trouble and kill you or whatever, but i think what's going to be the biggest deterrent is the price. drugs are expensive. everyone knows you'll have to pay some ridiculous suburban markup for a plastic bag full of oregano or some kid's ridilin- that's the obvious cost- but where it really hits you is the munchie section. can you really afford to be droppin' fifteen bucks at sheetz every time you blaze? are you a millionaire? i don't think so. you can't afford to do drugs hot shot. stick to vandalism.

9. i would like to drink out of mason jars more often. i feel like someone who sits on railroad tracks whenever i do.

in other news, my usb cord fell into some friendship bread batter today and is now broke. wamp wamp.

also: remind me to tell you about the olive oil incident.

several matters:

but just two for now:

1. is it sad that half of my 25 most played itunes songs are christmas songs? or is it beautiful?

2. i know who my real friends are because we can talk hp for hours and hours. and make obscure references and still have everyone in the room understand.

3. i spilled a salad in my purse and thought i lost my name tag.

4. i love my apron.

that was four.

missin' TU

you know.

present wrapping!

not the craziest, but i was impressed. pat on the back self. nice work.