pink or blue?

 

 i can't believe i haven't told you this story yet. actually, yes i can. because this happened when i was about four or five and i would have had no reason to tell you. except! i saw this post and was reminded!

back in the day, my grandma made me all sorts of costumes. i was heavy into dress up and imagination games and she was a total enabler. i had an overflowing collection of gorgeous handmade princess dresses and capes - total costume nerd heaven. but perhaps one of the most clever pieces was a sleeping beauty skirt. it was a simple skirt that Velcro-d in the back and was meant to be worn with a leotard. but, much like the disney movie, this skirt had color options. one side was blue, another was pink. and i could change it at my leisure. it was incredible.

i may have to take a hiatus from this blog to recreate the magic of this skirt. it was seriously amazing. also: please enjoy this picture that has nothing to do with anything! you're welcome!

mums

 

so you know how i wrote about my grandma? and was doing all kinds of things that reminded me of her last night? well, last night, i was knitting in bed. and watching upstairs, downstairs. and i had just slipped a bunch of stitches to stitch holders. because that's how it goes when you're knitting a sweater. 40 stitches on one; 20 on another; 100 on the last. stitch holders are these giant metal wire things that look like safety pins. the 100 stitch one was a little small so the stiches snaked up around the curve at the bottom, all jammed on. 

then, in true Caitlin fashion, i fell asleep. with my knitting on the pillow next to me. 

this morning, i woke up and noticed something magenta down by my feet. it was the stitch holder. with no stitches on it. so i checked my knitting, which was still sitting up by my head. all 100 stitches were there, sans stitch holder. also: did i mention I look my bedroom door everynight? and this morning it was still locked? 

there are several explanations here: 

1. i'm a crazy sleepwalker with enough patience and skill to slip off 100 stitches from a stitch holder. 

2. mice? 

3. my house used to be a church - ghosts of church ladies? 

4. it was a sign from my grandma, the woman who taught me to knit. just a little prank to say hey. this is the explanation i like the best. i'm going with this one. 

also, back when my grandparents used to live at their old house, they had a big greenhouse. it was connected to the garage and it was beautiful. i was into the smell. and every year, they grew a butt-load of mums. all colors. just tons of the suckers. and then, when fall rolled around, they gave them all away. people from church, coworkers, family, neighbors, my mom's sisters- whoever. they all came over and took the mums. and i love that tradition. i want a green house for that exact thing. to grow flowers to give away. 

i was thinking about this tradition last week and bought myself a mum. then i sprayed painted a plastic cauldron gold and planted it. gotta start somewhere. 

 

i think about my grandma at least once a day. pillows from her old guest room are on my bed as well as the quilt she gave me when i graduated, the same quilt her grandmother gave her. the patches on it came from her old clothes.

the little velvet couch and chair in the corner of my room were from her house as well and i wear her signet ring on a gold chain around my neck every day. i alternate between five pairs of her gold earrings.

i'm knitting a sweater and christmas presents for my family. i'm sewing my own halloween costume. she taught me the skills to do both.

this week a woman at work asked me a few questions about a scarf she's working on. at one point i found myself saying, "if you're not happy with it now, you never will be." a truth passed down by her.

i made her baked apples tonight. i'll make her baked man'n'cheese tomorrow night. i think of her when i put on perfume in the morning. i think of her when i'm choosing my outfits. would grandma janet wear this? she was always so put together.

i think i miss her more and more as i begin to see how deeply she's influenced me. so much of her has become a part of me. i was recently thinking about how much i would have loved to take her thrifting. how much i would have loved to show her around my house and cook her a meal. how happy she would be that i get to craft at work.

thinking of you every day.