so remember that last post, when i mentioned missing people and wanting to talk about it, then i never did? i'm going to do it now.
it's not even missing people so much as wishing there were fewer places. the people i love are scattered right now. i love people in philadelphia, new york, harrisburg, pittsburgh, baltimore, texas, indiana PA, georgia, new jersey, california, ohio, australia - all over. and i want to see them all, all the time. and i can't. and it makes my heart physically hurt. there just aren't enough weekends to see everyone. we're all so busy and doing stuff and trying to appreciate where we are - i'm trying to make philadelphia my place and be a part of the city. but it's hard when i don't feel like a whole person - i'm a combination of all my people and they're all over the place. i'm sure there's a way to cope with this. people go on living without being in the presence of everyone they love all the time. but i'm not there yet. right now, i just want to pick up all the pieces, all the cities my friends live in and squash them all together on the map. maybe in some space in the ocean. so no one has to give up their city, but no one has to be apart either. who can i talk to about this map squashing business?
